Hollywood

Fall '15

(Dubstep booming) “Fuck! Welcome to Hollywood kid! The name’s Donny Liebowitz, but you can call me the Big Producer. Get in! I’ll show you around.”

You’re not sure if you can trust him.

Big P does a line of coke off your forehead.

“Alright, I guess I gotta start somewhere...“ you scream to yourself.

Pretty Pete opens the gullwing doors of his billion-dollar lambro.

The dubstep is about to crescendo just as you sit down into the extremely low seats of his gold plated Maserati.

You sit so low that your butt is touching the pavement. Dr. Liebowitz leans over and whispers into your ear.

“Let’s go remake the Harry Potter franchise.”

Bass drops!

He rips the car into 1st gear and tears down the sunset strip.

The first 9 layers of your butt are ripped off, but you don’t care, because you effing love Harry Potter.

Your eyeballs have been surgically replaced with dollar signs at this point.

“You thinking what I’m thinkin?” you both think to each other.

The Big Producer Harvey Weinstein and you both whip your Oscars out and press them against the nitrous button, propelling you at Mach 4 into the Hollywood sign.

The resulting explosion was trending on Facebook for fourteen minutes. You made it, kid!