Growing Up

Spring '14

 

Boy: Hey, Dad, I... um…I have a question about my body.

Father: Say, what is it, sport?

Boy: Well I uh…I uh…I guess I feel kind of funny sometimes.

Father: Why, what do you mean, champ? Funny, how?

Boy: Funny down there.

Father: Ha, the human body is a wonderful thing isn’t it? I remember when I was right around your age, I started feeling kind of funny, too, sometimes. It was around that time I started liking girls. Started getting hair down there, ha, and started to grow a whole lot over the summers, too. I was becoming a man. Yeah, it’s scary, sure, but I wouldn’t trade those times for the world.

Boy: So you think I’m okay, dad? I’m not a bad kid for getting an erection?

Father: Why, no not at – wait… you got an erection? An erection? Oh my God!

Boy: What!? What’s wrong!?

Father: Haha, I don’t know – dude, that’s crazy!

Boy: Huh!? Dad, what’s it mean!?

Father: I heard if you get too many erections, like, your dick can fall off. Haha, I don’t know if it’s true – just what I heard.

Boy: What? Is that gonna happen to me!?

Father: I don’t know – said it’s just what I heard!

Boy: I thought you were supposed to know about this stuff!

[Father shrugs]

Father: Hey, I think I saw a guy with an erection in one of those magazines I found under my dad’s bed. There were naked girls and stuff in there, too. Haha, gross, right? But, uh, maybe kind of cool, too. I don’t know.

Boy: Magazines under grandpa’s bed?

Father: Yeah. Let’s check it out.