Adam Sandler

Fall '16

Man: Guys! Guys! You’ll never believe what happened!

Friend 1: What happened?

Man: I saw Adam Sandler at the supermarket!

Friend 1: WHOA! That’s insane!

Friend 2: I love Billy Madison!

Man: He got normal groceries too. He’s just like us!

Friend 2: DUDE!

Friend 1: That’s crazy!

Man: I didn’t talk to him or anything, but he seemed like a cool guy.

Friend 1: You’re so lucky!

Friend 2: I’d do anything to be you!

*1 month later*

Man: I failed all my classes.

Friend 1: Dude, I love Happy Gilmore!

Friend 2: Adam fucking Sandler, dude! That’s nuts!

*1 year later*

Man: I guess I’m going to have to drop out of college.

Friend 1: Are you pulling our leg about seeing Sandler?

Friend 2: Grown Ups wasn’t that good, but that’s still so rad, dude!

*10 years later*

Man: Can’t believe I still live with my parents.

Friend 1 and Friend 2 (chanting): SAND-LER! SAND-LER! SAND-LER!

*50 years later*

Man: I guess I’m going to die now.

Friend 1: Can’t believe you saw the Sandman! You’re so lucky!

Friend 2: I’d do anything to be you!

*1 month later*

Funeral Director: I’m sorry for your loss.

Friend 1: This guy saw Adam Sandler!

Funeral Director: Get the fuck out of here! Mr. Deeds is a masterpiece.